Alack and alas

My goodness - it has been far to long since I updated. I think part of the problem is that I always forget my login to my gmail account and end up wasting a half an hour trying to figure it out.

Things are ticking away back in the world of work. I am desperately trying to find balance in my life this year and as of yet I haven't exactly been all that successful. I wish that I was better at shutting off when I walk out of the building, but most of my thoughts are consumed by work and work stress. I find myself surfing job opportunities in the UK thinking that I might find less stress in that world, but the world is not the problem - I am. I need to be responsible for the choices I am making - and that isn't going to change just because I live somewhere else.

I must confess that I AM already plotting my travels for next summer....where shall I explore? What do I want to experience????

Kx

What If?

If you knew how much time you had left to live, would it change how you are living your life right now? If you were given the precise day that you were meant to die, would you make drastic changes? I watched The Time-traveller's Wife last night and it made me start to question the above topic. Henry travels through time and ends up seeing his dying moment which I can only imagine to be mortifying. It really got me thinking....if I knew I had 60 years, I am not sure much would change, if I knew I had 20, I think I would seriously start to reconsider the thought though. Don't get me wrong, on a whole, I am quite happy with the path I am on and the choices I am making in my life - but if all of a sudden I started to feel the clock ticking - I mean REALLY ticking, there are definitely things I would change. I might begin to take a few more risks, worry less about certain things and make an effort to invest more time in myself and the people that I love. There were good and bad elements to the movie - but it definitely stirred the thought pot.

Kx

Today was a Good Day

I had a very busy and delightful day today. I got more accomplished today than I have any other day this summer. I went to the zoo with Kate, Jonny and Thomas and got to see the Koalas (I wrote an award winning report on Koalas in grade 4!) It was nice to spend a portion of the day outside but I cannot get over how busy the zoo was. It felt like there must have been some special event going on because it was PACKED. I guess that everybody just had the same brilliant idea today.

After the zoo I went home and got a good amount of work done on KMK - which is making me breath easier and stress out less. I was working on music today and will move onto another area tomorrow.

After dinner I headed down to the leisure centre to swim with my niece and nephew. What a great time. It is nice to swim with kids their age because they are competent in the pool, you aren't worried about their safety every second that you are swimming. I has been many years since I was in the wave pool - strange because I practically lived in it for 7 or 8 years when I taught summer camps there. And I still love the diving board.... that was the most enjoyable workout I have had in some time!

Kx

My Sheepish Return

Wow - I was not expecting to have such a long break between my posts. I was away for a while, and for the rest of the absence I just didn't have anything that I wanted to put on paper.

The start of work is looming again. How quickly the summer goes. The start of a new school year is always an interesting one. I adore my job and yet there is that pang of sadness everytime a summer ends. I think that part of it is the fact that there is a large amount of stress involved with the beginning of the year. Meeting new students, re-establishing guidelines and expectations...and realizing that your really didn't get a head start in the summer like you had hoped.

I am directing a musical for the first time which is making me quite nervous. There is a TON of extra stuff to worry about with a musical...and I manage to put so much pressure on myself to excel. I am hoping to find a better balance this year - I need to make sure that there is life outside of the school between September and June.

Kx

I want to find love like Carl and Ellie have in the movie "Up". I think it is what every person actually dreams of. I believe that we are all in search of that person that helps to make us feel complete - whole. While I am constantly trying to come to terms with the fact that I may never find that one special someone - I never actually stop hoping that it is in the cards for me. I try to convince myself that I don't need another person in order to feel fully happy - but I am in essence lying to myself. I think that human beings are inherently social by nature and therefore cannot REALLY be satisfied with life if they are on their own. I do enjoy my own company - in fact I crave it at times, but overall I am a happier, easier person to be with when I feel wanted, needed and loved. 

This brings me to my present predicament...I AM alone - I don't have anybody in my life - and I am lonely. There...I said it. I AM LONELY. And I want to stop feeling lonely. I want the stars to align so that I can find the man I am supposed to be with and we can start our lives together. I want the world to show me that everyone can find true love, if they are patient...I want a soulmate who cares when I am feeling down and rejoices when I am feeling happy. I want someone to grow old with - someone that I can talk to and laugh with for hours on end, or sit and say nothing at all but still be blissfully content. I want to find my lobster....

Kx

Grassi Lake Trail

Today I set out for Canmore to meet up with Neil and Alanna. They invited me to join them for a hike at Grassi Lakes. The weather was great and the hike was beautiful. Everytime I get out of the city to do something like that I wonder why I don't do it more often. 

The hike was a challenge for me and reminded me how out of shape I am. I was glad that they were both so supportive of a slow pace today. It is always a little daunting joining people on an outing like that when you are of different fitness levels. I never want to feel like the person that is holding other people back. There was a fairly steep incline at points, but the payoff was worth it! The lakes are a brilliant shade of turquoise and that was my first opportunity to see water like that up close. Absolutely stunning views and great company too. It was definitely a busy spot - lots of people out and about, but the nice thing was that the chirping of the birds filled the air more than any human sounds - that was a treat!

After the hike we headed down into Canmore for a drink and a snack. All in all, a perfect summer day!

Kx

And So It Begins.

Because I seem to spend more time with a computer than a pen these days, I thought I would start a blog rather than another paper journal. It is my hope that I can remain a little more consistent with addressing my thoughts this way than I have been when trying to write things down. I have started so many written journals over the years that I turn to regularly for a couple of weeks and then they disappear into oblivion. This blog may suffer the same fate, but it is worth a shot to see how I do. 

I am currently on summer holidays and it is a glorious day outside. I spent most of my day exploring areas just outside of Calgary and enjoying the nice weather. We have had pretty dismal weather so far this year so I have been trying to get outside as much as possible. It is funny how we moan and whine about the horrible weather and then when it IS nice outside, people still seem to hangout indoors. I have been guilty of this many times myself so I am making a concerted effort this year to get outdoors. 

This is the second random day trip that I have taken in  a week. It is nice to have the freedom and the resources to just head out and see where the day takes you. The only thing I wish is that I had company when I take off for the day. Summer as a teacher is great, but it can get a little lonely when everyone else you know is either working or travelling. It feels weird to go from the hustle and bustle of activity that I see for 10 months of the year to having days where I actually don't speak to anyone. I enjoy my quiet time, but I am inherently a people person and long for human interaction. Well - I have an excellent weekend planned so that should remedy my complaints!

Kx